My Baby

My blog, my baby… I haven’t really been taking care of it. At 21 years old it seems I’ve been a very bad parent. I haven’t taken care of the thing that I have treasured, something I have brought into this earth.

How can one be so irresponsible? Do I even have a heart? It is never ok for one to only care halfway; it is better not to have cared at all. Maybe it’s immaturity, maybe I had her too young… no. That can’t be it. Others have given birth to blogs a lot younger and done well. I cannot use my age as an excuse. Besides, as age goes, I am considered a man now, I cannot hide behind my age.

“Well she doesn’t love me back,” I think, “She doesn’t make it easy for me!”

Maybe if she fed my ego with more follows, likes and comments I’d tend to her daily. Maybe if she showed me a little more respect. HAH! That’s not good enough either. Taking care of a human baby is a pain. All they do is take… but babies know no better, it’s only when they are older that they even think about giving affection. So only when my baby is older will she give back my affection. All I can do is feed her – right now it’s all about what I can give to her. The fact that she’s even around should be enough for me to give her my attention, she’s mine! My baby… mine.

a flip switches in my mind

I don’t ever want to neglect you. Never again! I heard you crying and I ignored it. I chose to sleep instead… anything but be the responsible father I promised you I would be when I brought you into this world. Yet you kept on crying. Your soft whimpers drew me close once more; and here I am. Daddy’s back.

Look at the instant smile on your face! You’re giggling already? The sun breaks through the wall of clouds. My heart melts and I break down. You’ve already forgiven me in spite of days of neglect? If everyone was like you this world would be so much better than it is. Seeing you smile has given me life, your welcome has spurred me on. I will take care of you. I will no longer neglect you. So keep smiling baby girl! My baby… mine. Daddy’s back… and he’s here to stay.

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